Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
