I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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