Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
