Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
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