just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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