my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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