Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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