she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
