were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
