every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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