the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
