I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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