We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
