College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
