Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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