I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You pole danced in your parka.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
