And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize