she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
