Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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