It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
