I feel like I'm in dance class right now
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
