I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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