i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
