who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
