Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
