You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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