i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
