...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
