ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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