Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
