Well douche your snatch and let's go!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
