there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your penis caused this!
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