Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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