He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
