D3 body, D1 cock
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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