I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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