we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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