he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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