so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm too high and old for this...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
