So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
bring money and cleavage
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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