dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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