i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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