i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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