Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
