dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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