He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize