He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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