I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
