Your face is a jimmy john
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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