that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
