It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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