She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
