I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
