i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
