if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a beard to bite.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I enjoy the company of your penis
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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