so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize